Because no, no you cannot.
And it’s going to cost you $50 to leave, at least. *
Overheard while in the dressing room at Target trying on shorts:
Wheelchair guy who hands out the number tags: I like my food spicy and my women spicier.
Lady hanging up clothes: That’s good! (English is not great here)
Wheelchair guy who hands out the number tags: My van is broken down and [long story about what exactly is wrong with the van] and I think the mechanic is trying to fuck me over.
Lady hanging Up Clothes: Mmmhmmm that is good for you!
And how long do you think it will take to get back to work from Mission: Shorts at Target? It will take 25 minutes!
Why? Because someone on Woodmont is having their driveway repaved and the equipment is blocking the two lane road! (I’m looking at you, dumptruck guy).
*Please do not think I am dissing the Target. I got two pairs of shorts (one for me, one for he), baby socks, lipstick, and infant formula all under the same roof. I friggin love Target, for better or for worse, even while it undergoes it’s metamorphisis into SuperTarget.