Cliff Notes and What I’m Really Thinking

Ugh. The last entry is way too long.

Here’s a summary:
I went to the library to make copies. It got complicated. I was sweaty. I made the copies. I got lost downtown. I said “Heh, Whatever, Dude” to someone I don’t know and who was not speaking to me.

That’s it—that’s really all that happened. And somehow that took a kabillion words to say before.

Here is a simple outline of my brain right now. Remember outlines? This should be fun!

1) I start school on June 6th. I still do not have a part-time job lined up for that time period and that makes me very nervous.

i) Well, okay, I do pretty much have a guaranteed job at the mental health center where I used to work, but I think that makes me more nervous.

ii) Because I got punched in the face a few years ago by a client at that center, totally unprovoked and unexpected, and I think I may not have done a very good job of it from that point forward. Unlike most people that have the life-changing opportunity to work with people with severe and persistent mental illness, I became more afraid instead of less afraid. Maybe I need to confront my fear and work there, maybe I don’t need to invite the anxiety, but either way I’m hoping something comes along before that option starts looking any better.

Okay. That’s what I meant to say.

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