I have this little anxiety about toilet-flushing: I’m never, ever 100% sure that I’ve flushed. Because flushing is one of those things that we do so often in our lives that it becomes so automatic that you could easily do it and not remember if you’ve flushed or not.
Unfortunately, this little hangup has hit me only recently in my life, and I attribute it to my pregnancy with Birdy, especially toward the end, when I had to pee about every 7.2 seconds. After a certain point it began to feel ridiculous and wasteful to flush the toilet at home every time, since I’d be seated again before the tank even filled all the way up. That, and our upstairs toilet is, like, the first toilet ever made or something, because it is so effing old that you can’t buy any parts for it, but it has this really slow leak that is fixed only by rigging a ponytail holder around this other part that keeps it from filling up, so when you DO use the toilet, you have to un-hook the dealie and let it fill all the way up before you can actually– it’s broken. So I didn’t flush every time on that one, either. Flash forward to present-day, when I have to return to the bathroom probably eight out of ten times, within two or so minutes of exiting the bathroom, to peek into the toilet and make sure I have really sealed the deal. I have yet to find that I did not flush, but that does not make the need to check any less real.