Mama’s Secret

The Cheesecake Factory is a silly name for a restaurant. I was going to say it’s a dumb name, but I’m trying not to be so crotchety and judgmental. (I didn’t say anything about not being crafty and underhanded about my criticisms, however).

:::: Aaaahhhh. :::
So, I am out of my fog of wanting to lay on the couch and eat Pringles and ignore the commitments crashing down around me. I have rearranged my job schedule so that I will, beginning next week, tack on thirty minutes here or there on my longer days as a trade for Thursday afternoons off.

Any idea how this changes my world? How it makes every breath I take seem so much easier? How it feels like the sun just came out?

It feels like when you make that one rotation of the Rubik’s Cube that really begins the solving of the puzzle, that makes it clear how to solve it. Or maybe like the moment you realize you can peel the colored stickers off and reapply them to make it look like you are a Supergenius Rubiks Cuber. Whichever. Now I can go to the mall and return those Christmas presents. Get a haircut. Pick Bird up early. Now I can meet my freelance deadlines. Now I can have a little space.

:::: I am the goalie.:::
I have come leaping out of my ugly little fog in a very task-oriented, goal-setting frame of mind, having picked my whiny ass up off the pity-party sidewalk, brushed off, and splashed some cold water on my face. There’s no sign of this shit going anywhere, so it’s time to figure out how to make it work.

I discovered this website. About setting goals, achieving goals. Keeping track of your goals. Other people’s goals. Checking in from time to time to make sure I’m spending my energy toward something I’ve chosen to work for (or against, whatever the case may be.)

Yes, it’s probably dorky and to be honest, I don’t fully understand the site because I haven’t taken the time to really look it over. Participating in 43 Things is one of my goals. Baby Steps, y’all.

But two things I know I want to put on the list?
1. Become an early riser
2. Be job-free (this does not mean unemployed– this means working from home) by Summer 2007.

Why all the Oprah moments, Mama Snee? A classmate was going on and on about this book/DVD/empire called The Secret. I’m sure you know all about it, I’m just out of the Oprah loop, and totally on purpose, I might add. And I’m sure as shit not going to shell out a bunch of cash for a book/DVD that, upon inspection at the bookstore this afternoon, is filled with a lot of quotes by famous people and printed on “antique” looking paper. I’m all for inspiration, but I like mine to be free of charge and without mysterious wax seals on the cover.

In any case, I believe the premise to be something about putting your wants/ desires/ needs energy out into the Universe, and how the Universe will match your energy and sling it back to you however you’ve manifested it. In other words, positive thinking. Write it down to make it real. Eyes on the prize. Cut out that patio furniture you’ve always wanted and stick it on your fridge until, holy shit, here’s that patio furniture you’ve always wanted for sale on Craigslist.

Maybe it’s because the Universe gave it to you, and maybe it’s because you looked at it every day and were more motivated to seek it/ more alert to opportunities to obtain it. Maybe I just said the same thing twice.

So I’m writing things down, like the above mentioned items. Maybe I’ll participate in 43 things, and maybe it’s already done its inspirational job for me, as I sit here and look at my little notebook and this growing list of things I actually want to do. Usually my lists are comprised of things I want/need/have to do in order to keep my income/ house/ car/ health/ family out of ruin. So a list of things I want? A list about who I want to be? That’s a start right there.

So if you were worried that I had retreated to the corner of my garage with an Us Magazine, a fifth of vodka and a pack of smokes, you were almost right. But it’s going to be okay.


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